Teenagers need to be protected from their own stupidity, not prosecuted for it -- which brings me to the parents-on-Facebook part. My older daughter gets to sign up for Facebook next year, when she starts high school, and we've been pre-skirmishing over whether she will have to "friend" me.
As I learned when I tried to friend the children of some close friends, this is considered a terrible faux pas, somewhere between intrusive and creepy. Parents friending their own children is seen as a particularly unnatural act. As my daughter explained, perfectly pleasantly, "There are things that I talk about with my friends that I don't need you to know."
Fair enough -- I was 14 once, and perhaps not as irredeemably nerdy as she thinks. So fine: Use the phone. Text or IM. Video chat. But Facebook is essentially a public venue, captured in bytes for eternity. My daughter is, knock on a plasma screen, too sensible to sext. But if the notion of a lurking parent makes her or her friends think twice before posting something -- well, that's all to the good.
One parent I know tried to friend his son's elementary school teacher a few years ago and received a polite rejection -- but enough access, under Facebook rules, to let him see the pictures of her bending over backward while a friend poured beer into her mouth. Like I said, captured in bytes for eternity.
I admit it, I'm guilty as charged by my wife, and 8 and 11 year-old sons I'm addicted to social networking. I never took to MySpace; it was and is just too gaudy in appearance, and bawdy in much of its content for me; instead, I've dived head first into the terse and pithy 140-character bands of Twitter, taken a liking to the Classroom2.0Ning space, and prefer the clean look and feel of Facebook.
The former two utilities are professional networking outlets in which I divine resources to aid me as a classroom educator and technology integration specialist. The latter, well, at this stage of my usage,Facebook is as my wife has dubbed it, "a classmates dot com for 2009." (Author's disclaimer: In defense of the over 35 Facebook set, you've got to start somewhere, and where better than 20-25 years in the past?)
Ning and Twitter are purely professional for me, with enough social banter infused in order to bring a sense of legitimacy and depth to the relationships cultivated through the different posts, chats, and interaction.
Facebook, on the other hand is, for me, more truly a social outlet and forum. As such, it's likely to brings about a set of sharing options and temptations not necessarily present in the other two spaces.
And this is where we find ourselves in our first conundrum - "we" referring to educators and other self-respecting professionals whose reputations among clients and community members could be severely compromised by the social networking missteps. What exactly do we post in 140 characters or in response to "[your name] is..."?
I can assure you I'm not sexting on my Facebook or in my Tweets. I've got too many sags & wrinkles, and, besides, I just don't have the time to GIMP or Photoshop myself into sexting shape. In the same sense, I'm not beer-bonging or going on a bender and documenting it in my status bars. It's just not how I roll.
But, I do like a few varieties of Leinenkugel's, and at times I might refer online to enjoying an adult beverage and the good company I'm in at that moment. So, is it bad to mention that when I am among friends? I'd say the same things sitting around the fire pit out back with the neighbors and their kids. So, what gives?
The answer is, as always, the company you're keeping. Ruth Marcus points out, "Teenagers need to be protected from their own stupidity," and proved evidence that we adults need to do likewise. Do I accept the invite? Not without doing a little research.
I mentioned the other day an apartment/condo complex nearby wanted to be my friend. I was a clueless "Accept" misstep away from being viewed by all the residents of Stratford Woods. Thankfully, I am in the habit of tracking back every friend and follower to verify (1) the veracity of the request, and (2) their "worthiness" of having a place in my on-line circle. Yes, I said that, their "worthiness." It's a key determinant of if I accept or reciprocate with a "follow." I want certain people in my networks, and I'm going to do my best to cull the chaff in an effort to maximize the potential for meaningful interaction. Doing otherwise means that perhaps, just perhaps, the family of one of my students living in Startford Woods might just scour their status updates, see some reference to Leinekugel's, and start connecting dots that just aren't there.
Enter conundrum #2. While we control our networks, we cannot control the networks of others. Let's be honest, we reveal what and who we want people to see, and it's often on case by case basis that we determine what we divulge to whom. As it is in our first lives, so it is in our second, social networking lives. Unfortunately, "the seven degrees of separation" and the speed and ease of online communication virtually assure some body's finding out what you don't want them to know.
So, it seems, just as we need to protect the kids,we need to protect ourselves from our own stupidity.
Article Source:
"The teenagers are guilty, but not as charged: The actual crime: Using broadband technology without a hint of inhibition."
By Ruth Marcus, Washington Post
found at http://www.startribune.com/opinion/commentary/42355852.html?page=2&c=y
